50 Theme Challenge
by Maybeawriter
Summary: A series of oneshots inspired by 50 themes. Mostly for fun, but a couple serious ones will no doubt sneak in here. Will probably span several different genres and possibly involve crossovers later on. Pairings include Megamind/Roxanne and possibly others.
1. Butter

**Hi everybody! This isn't my first fan fiction, really, but it's the first one I've actually finished. This oneshot is the first of 50 in my theme challenge. (I had a friend give me a list of random words and themes, and I came up with a couple myself.)**

**I just want to give a shout-out to my awesome Beta reader, LionshadeSC, who was a massive help and also gave me a much-needed confidence boost.**

**So here's theme number one!**

* * *

Butter

Minion seemed uncharacteristically distressed to see her entering the lair. "Oh, um, hello Miss Ritchi."

"Hey Minion." Roxanne said casually. "Is Megamind around? He said he'd call me. About a week ago."

Minion looked nervous. "Uh, yes he's fine, but he… is really busy at the moment, and he said I wasn't to allow any visitors…"

Roxanne narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Megamind had never been a great liar, but Minion was hopeless.

"Minion, what's going on?" she asked bluntly.

"Nothing!" Minion answered a bit too quickly. "Nothing's going on! I just-"

"Then I'm sure Megamind won't mind if I just see him for a minute or two." she pushed past Minion.

"No!" he got in front of her again. "Please, Miss Ritchi, Sir isn't in a good mood right now. Seeing you would just upset him more!"

She gave him a look that demanded an explanation and refused any excuses.

Minion sighed in defeat. "He got into some butter a couple days ago," he said as if that made everything clear.

Roxanne raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Minion motioned for her to follow him. "You see, Sir can eat junk food just fine. His metabolism keeps him from gaining weight. But if he gets any grease on his face, even just a little, he gets terrible acne."

"Wait… He's had a breakout? Is that all?" she almost laughed. "Whew, I was worried it was something serious."

Minion didn't sound amused. "Well, it kind of _is_ serious. You know how Sir can get."

Roxanne quickly sobered. Minion was right, of course. Megamind did tend to angst over things that wouldn't faze most people.

Minion stopped by a door. "Now, Miss Ritchi, you'll be gentle? You won't laugh or…"

"Of course not," she said sincerely.

Minion looked torn for a moment. He never liked going against Megamind's orders, but if anyone could help him out of this rut, it was Roxanne.

He knocked on the door.

"_Go away, Minion," _came the despondent reply.

"Sir," Minion called, "there's somebody here to see you."

_"I don't want to see anybody like this!"_ Megamind cried. _"Get rid of them! Tell them I have a cold, or something!"_

Minion's expression was a mixture of concern and exasperation. "See? He's in one of his stubborn moods."

Roxanne opened the door quietly. It was dark, but there was enough daylight coming through the dirty window to see clearly. There was a suspiciously large lump on the bed. Upon closer inspection, it appeared Megamind was sitting with a blanket over his head.

"Megamind?"

Megamind suddenly had a very unheroic panic attack. "Roxanne! Ah, um, nobody's here!"

She sighed and pulled the blanket off of him.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" he cried, holding his hands up in front of his face.

"Megamind," she said softly but with a hint of sternness. She moved his hands away. He didn't stop her, just looked at her with dread.

There was a slight scattering of pimples across his face. Nothing too severe.

"Oh Megs, it's not that bad," she smiled as she sat next to him. "From the way you and Minion were acting, I was afraid there was one the size of your head."

Her smile faded when she saw the sadness in Megamind's eyes. "What is it?"

He pretended to be very interested in his shoes all of a sudden. "Nothing."

She gently put her hand on his cheek and turned his head towards her. "I said something wrong, didn't I?"

"No." his eyes darted around, refusing to meet her gaze. "I mean… Not really. It's not you, Roxanne. It's… um…"

She waited.

He sighed. "When I was in high _shool_… I mean school… Well I had trouble with acne, just like anyone else. But…" he could practically hear the harsh taunts ringing in his ears. "Well, the other kids…"

Roxanne didn't know much about Megamind's childhood, but from what he told her, she knew it hadn't been good.

She also knew the one surefire way to lift his spirits.

Without warning, she leaned over and kissed him. He froze for a moment in surprise, then quickly forgot what they were talking about as he returned the kiss.

Roxanne couldn't help but giggle at the lovestruck grin on his face when they pulled apart. Then she gently pressed her forehead to his.

"Megamind, I keep telling you," she said softly. "You'll always be handsome to me. I wouldn't care if you suddenly turned orange with green spots."she laughed. "Well, okay, I'd be a little confused at first. But still…"

Megamind chuckled. "You really mean that?" he asked, his voice betraying a hint of insecurity.

Her answer was straightforward and to-the-point. She simply kissed him again.

And Megamind thought for what seemed the thousandth time that he was the luckiest being on the planet.


	2. Feet

**Author's note: While pondering the word Feet, I remembered how disproportionately small Megamind's feet are. I wondered if he and Roxanne might possibly be the same shoe size. And this was born. It's a bit shorter than the last one, sorry about that.**

**And once again, thanks to LionshadeSC for beta-reading this.**

**(Takes place post-movie)**

* * *

Feet

Roxanne looked at the clock impatiently. "Come on, Megamind. We're going to be late!"

There was an obstinate "No" from Roxanne's closet.

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "You look fine, Megamind! Those shoes are perfectly masculine!"

"No, these are girl shoes!" he insisted. "It's embarrassing!"

Roxanne sighed, regretting her decision to have Megamind come pick her up rather than going to the lair. Maybe then he wouldn't have stepped in that infuriatingly sticky mud and rendered his current footwear unusable.

"You know, I wouldn't have offered to lend you my shoes if I had known if was going to be this much of an issue," she said in a tone of utter exasperation.

"And I'm grateful, Roxanne, really!" he called. "But I can't be seen in these things! What will people think?"

"That you're wearing plain black dress shoes," she said sensibly. "And anyway, who's going to see your feet under the table?"

"How's it going to look if Megamind, the great hero of Metrocity, shows up to a dinner being held in his honor wearing womens' shoes?" he leaned against the door, crossing his arms stubbornly. "This would completely shatter my reputation!"

Roxanne resisted the urge to facepalm. "I was really hoping this would be faster than cleaning your other shoes off. You know, so we wouldn't be late?"

He decided to ignore that and check in with Minion over the watch radio. "Minion? Status update?"

"_Good news, Sir!"_ came Minion's slightly staticy voice. _"I found the emergency shoes! 270 is bringing them to you now."_

Megamind gave a relieved sigh. "Thank you, Minion."

About ten minutes later, a brainbot arrived with a shoebox. Megamind scratched the robot's dome lovingly.

"Good boy, 270!" he told it. "Who's a good little cyborg to bring Daddy his shoes without eating them? You are, yes you are!"

"Great!" Roxanne said, glancing at the clock again. "We just might be able to make it on time."

Megamind jumped into the closet, quickly putting on the emergency shoes and his cape. He came out with a confident grin.

"Do I look alright?" he turned so the cape swished. "Too much? Too little?" He gave her a slightly anxious look. "I was going to wear the one with the spikes, but you said that was inappropriate for a formal dinner, so…"

"No, Megs, you look great," she reassured him. "But, um, the shoes…"

"What about them?" he said.

She hesitated. "…They look exactly like the ones I lent you."

He looked at her was if she were crazy. "No, they don't."

"I'm pretty sure they do," she persisted. "Same shape, same color…" she looked at the shoebox. "Same brand."

He scoffed. "You wouldn't understand. Now let's go, we don't want to be late!"

Megamind walked out of the room in a dramatic fashion. Roxanne shook her head with a mixture of frustration and amusement before following him.


	3. Safe

**Author's Note: So, yeah, this one's a bit longer. And way more angsty.**

* * *

Safe

Wayne was surprised that Roxanne had come over unannounced. She never visited him without Megamind. Things were still a bit tense and awkward between reporter and former hero, and there was really no reason for them to see each other alone. And she always called first when she and Megamind were coming over

But what was more surprising was how disheveled Roxanne looked. Normally she was well groomed and well rested. But now, as she sat down wearily on the sofa, she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

Still, Wayne didn't get many visitors, being 'dead' and all, so he was glad to see her.

That's not to say he was comfortable.

"Um…" He started, trying to break the heavy silence. "Can I get you anything? A sandwich, something to drink…"

"No, thank you." She said. Her stomach had been doing flips all day. "Wayne, I came to you because you're the only person who could possibly help me right now."

"Help?" He was instinctively wary. Help sounded an awful lot like hero's work. "What about Megamind?"

She bit her lip. "That's just it. I haven't heard one word from Megamind in about a month."

"Oh." Was that all? What a relief. "Well, you know him, he's probably just working on some invention or…"

"Then Minion would have told me," she interrupted. "Plus, I went to the lair and found the hidden entrance bricked up."

Ok, maybe not such a relief. "Maybe he moved the entrance. Or maybe he's changed lairs."

"Without telling me?" she stood and started to pace. "At the very least, he never goes more than a week without calling me, or having Minion call me. It's an unspoken rule. He is in a very dangerous line of work, and I worry about him. Perhaps excessively so, but I can't help it. And he knows that. Something must have happened." She looked absolutely terrified.

"Okay, well, what do you want me to do about it?" he dreaded her response.

"I need you to help him find him," she said intensely. "I don't have x-ray vision, or super-strength, or super-hearing. But you do, Wayne."

"No, no, no, Roxie, I gave all that up. I'm retired now."

She looked at him beseechingly. "Please Wayne, I'm scared to death about him. I'm not asking you to put on your costume and perform for the masses! I just want some help. I need to know if he's all right."

"Roxanne, if I don't draw the line now, then where does it end? I start having to help you with little things, and then bigger things. Suddenly some footage of me ends up on the news, and then the rumors start flying fast and furious. Most of the city likes Megamind now, and if I give them one reason to think he didn't kill me, they'll take it and run with it. Then all of a sudden people start wondering. 'If Metro Man's alive, where is he? Why won't he help us? Is he just that much of a selfish jerk? Were we so stupid all those years to think _he_ was a hero?'"

Roxanne was glaring at him fiercely. "Yes, and they'd be right! Megamind could be anywhere by now! He could be hurt, or imprisoned by some villain, or both! He could even be…"

She couldn't say it. She couldn't accept it was a possibility.

"And all you can think about is yourself." she said coldly. "What a surprise."

He frowned. "What, don't I get to decide what to do with my life? Am I supposed to keep pretending to be something I'm not, just because everybody else wants me to?"

"Of course not," she cried, eyes practically glowing with anger. "But you might have thought about how me and Megamind and the rest of the city might feel, instead of faking your death like the coward you obviously are!"

There was a stunned silence.

She and Megamind had gone around and around with Wayne over this before. But in all their long drawn-out arguments, no one had ever crossed that line.

The word 'coward,' despite often being implied and hanging unspoken in the air, was never actually said.

But they all knew the truth. Metro Man had cared too much about what people would think of him to give a formal statement about his retirement. He had behaved like a temperamental teenage boy who just gives up when something is too hard. And now he was trapped by his own ego. People would hate him if he came out with the truth now. And he couldn't stand the idea of being hated.

To his credit, Wayne didn't get mad at Roxanne. But he was painfully disappointed in himself. Who was he fooling, really? He _was_ a coward.

"I'm sorry. I can't help you. Just… Just get out of here, all right?" he turned away.

Roxanne felt bad for him, but she was still enraged that he wouldn't cooperate. Wayne had honestly been her last hope. Unless she could find some unattended construction equipment and use it to break down… No, that was absurd.

But Megamind meant far more to her than Metro Man's feelings did.

She said in a voice as hard and sharp as flint, "You listen to me, Wayne Scott. If I find Megamind without your help, and if anything has happened to him that might have been stopped by finding him sooner, then so help me, I will spill everything to the press."

He looked at her with a horrified expression. "You wouldn't."

"Don't be so sure I wouldn't." She crossed her arms. "Are you going to help me or not?"

Wayne stared at her for a minute, judging just how dead serious she looked.

He gave a heavy sigh. "Fine. Let me get my trench coat."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the news van pulled up in front of the formerly-evil lair.

"Ok, let's get this over with." Wayne said, exasperated. "What do I have to do?"

Roxanne pointed at the wall as she climbed out of the van. "This is where the entrance normally is. The hologram is still there, but the wall's been rebuilt."

Wayne reached out and touched it. The wall shimmered where his hand was, but he felt solid brick underneath.

"So, should I just…" he pulled his arm back as if to punch it.

"Not unless there's no other way." Roxanne said quickly. If nothing was wrong, Megamind would be upset that his wall had been demolished. Of course, if nothing was wrong, a broken wall would be the least of his worries. Roxanne was prepared to give him the lecture of his life.

Wayne glanced around to make sure nobody was within sight. Just in case, he made a show of straightening his fedora to cover the glow of his eyes as he x-rayed the wall.

"There's a button right at the corner, there," he told her.

Roxanne bent down to feel the spot. Sure enough, her fingers found a small button about a foot off the ground. She pressed it and stepped back.

Nothing could be seen through the hologram, but they heard a loud grating sound as the brick wall moved away from the door.

"Well," Wayne started walking away, "that should get you in. So if you don't mind, I'll just super-speed home…"

"You're not leaving until I'm positive Megamind is safe." Roxanne gave him a stern look. "Stay in the car, if you want." She went through the hologram and vanished.

Wayne sighed. He valued Roxanne's friendship, but sometimes she could be the most infuriating woman. He wondered what Megamind saw in her.

* * *

The lair looked the same as always, except everything was coated in a fine layer of dust. Which was odd, since Minion normally took care of that. Roxanne couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

She thought she heard voices. "Megamind?"

The voices seemed to be coming from the basement. Roxanne opened the doors and shielded her eyes against the bright blue light. There was a buzzing sound and the lights suddenly died, as did the voices.

"Megamind? Minion? Are you down there?"

"…Roxanne?" came Megamind's hushed voice. "Is that you?"

"Who else would it be?" she called down, irritated. "Megamind, what's going on, why was there a wall…"

"Shush!"

There was a brief pause before he whispered, "Get in." She felt him grip her hand and lead her down the stairs, closing the door behind them.

The lights turned on again once they were at the bottom of the steps. Roxanne saw exactly what she had hoped to see: Megamind's face.

"Megamind!" she cried angrily. "Where the heck have you been?! Why didn't you call me?! I've been going crazy!"

She was going to slap him, but the stress and worry of the last few weeks caught up to her rather suddenly, and she found herself helplessly clinging to him and sobbing into his shoulder.

Megamind was surprised by that, as Roxanne wasn't usually the crying type, but it was understandable considering the month she must have had. She was only human, after all.

He held her gently and stroked her hair. "Shhh, it's all right. I'm here. It's all right…"

Minion just watched the touching scene and smiled for the first time in almost a month.

Roxanne quickly regained her composure. The moment he thought she could take it, Megamind took her by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes.

"You shouldn't be here, Roxanne," his voice was gentle, but he looked more serious than she'd ever seen him before.

"Why?" she wiped her wet cheek with the back of her hand. "What's happened?"

He didn't answer right away, glancing at the ground for a second.

"Megamind," she said more sternly, "what's going on? Tell me."

He gave a quiet sigh. "The government is after me."

Roxanne's jaw dropped open. "…What?"

Megamind turned and glared at the wall, as if it was responsible for his troubles.

"I received a message last month, from the Pentagon. They said international tensions are running high, and although the chance of war is slim, they want to be sure I'd be on their side. They want me to…" he paused, unwilling to say it.

"Want you to what?" She prompted.

"…Build weapons. Deadly weapons, preferably in large numbers. They want to know I'd be on the front lines, inventing better ways to… to _kill._" He squeezed his eyes shut, as if in pain. "They want me to apply my genius to the so-called art of killing other human beings."

He looked at her, his bright green eyes large and moist and innocent. "I would never do that. Never. I just _couldn't_…"

She shook her head numbly. Of course not, it would go against everything he was, everything he believed in.

He took a shaky breath before continuing. "The message also said that if I'm unwilling to help the country, they will be forced to assume I'm against it, and therefore an enemy that must be dealt with. They said if I don't do this, they would have no choice but the treat me the way…" he stared at the floor. "…The way aliens are supposed to be treated."

He met her horrified gaze, his eyes filled with dread. "And I think we both know what they mean by that." he said quietly.

"But they can't do that to you!"

"They already have." He said in a horribly defeated tone. Then he took Roxanne's hands in his own. "Roxanne. You need to get away from here; away from me. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Probably. So long as Minion and I stay down here."

"No. No, I'm not going to just leave you! Can't we tell somebody? What if I go public with this? Then they couldn't-"

"Roxanne, listen to me!" he said firmly, staring fiercely into her eyes. "There's nothing you can do! I want- I _need_ you to stay out of this! I don't know how serious they are; they might use you as a hostage or something! I couldn't…" he suddenly wrapped her in his arms tightly.

He wished he could protect her from the world just by holding her close.

But he couldn't, and he'd never forgive himself if something happened to her because of him.

* * *

**...What? Oh, you wanted a proper ending? Closure, perhaps? Yeah, I'd like that, too. Sadly, it doesn't seem to want to happen at this point in time.**

**(Well, actually, as soon as I say that, I start getting ideas. Maybe I'll do a sequel sooner than I thought...) **


End file.
